Transforming Your Narrative: How Viewing Your Life as a Story Can Lead to Daily Fulfillment

"A Day in the Life" videos have gained immense popularity on platforms like YouTube and social media, serving as visual metaphors for the story of our lives. However, it might be more accurate to consider them as chapters in the story, where each day represents a chapter rather than writing it down in words.

We have also witnessed behind-the-scenes videos of YouTubers that reveal their lives are not solely defined by what they show us on their channels. Their lives, much like ours, follow a linear and sometimes monotonous path, punctuated by highs and lows that can often be difficult to recognize while we're in the midst of it. Similarly, the life lessons we are meant to learn can be challenging to identify. This is precisely why we are so drawn to stories.

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The best stories encapsulate these lessons, igniting our imagination and engaging our minds, ideally leaving us with solutions or steps towards overcoming the challenges we face in our lives. The connection I'm drawing to "day in the life" videos is that we can better understand our own lives while they are unfolding by employing storytelling techniques. YouTubers who create such videos understand this concept well. They find ways to structure their days as elements of a story, with a beginning, middle, and end. They establish a setup, introduce a problem, and ultimately provide a solution, much like the three acts of a play.

By comprehending what makes a good story and employing those techniques in our own lives, we have the power to live more fulfilling days. I personally engage in this exercise of visualization in the morning, before fully starting my day. I craft a story about how I want my day to unfold, envisioning myself as the main character. However, I don't limit myself to wishful thinking, as that would be both uninteresting and detached from reality.

Instead, I include the challenges, distractions, setbacks, and long-standing hardships that I might encounter throughout the day. As the hero of my own story, I contemplate how I can overcome these obstacles by utilizing my skills and strengths. Winning the day alone is insufficient, and relying solely on visualization, without being in a positive mindset or having practiced it, can lead to imagining unfavorable outcomes—a bit like going on a bad trip. It can send us down unwanted rabbit holes, leaving us feeling worse or frustrated that visualization doesn't seem as effective for us as it appears to be for others on YouTube.

My suggestion is to start narrating a daily story about your life. It doesn't have to encompass your entire existence or day from beginning to end. Instead, focus on the most crucial task you need to accomplish that day or a relationship you want to improve or deepen. By doing so, you can visualize potential outcomes. Similar to crafting a story, your mind will naturally gravitate towards the versions and twists that feel most authentic and organic to the narrative you're constructing. While you can't control your life in the same way, you can do it within the confines of your thoughts, helping you avoid wrong turns, poor choices, and appreciating that you are in the midst of a story.

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With continued practice, this technique not only allows you to imagine greater possibilities for your day that no longer feel like far-fetched fantasies, but also transforms them into tangible realities. Just like a well-crafted movie or book can transport you into another person's world, offering a believable and inspiring experience, engaging in this storytelling exercise can leave you with a sense of purpose and drive in your own life. Think of the classic example of "Rocky," a movie that makes you believe you can fight for the heavyweight championship of the world, and even if you don't win, you'll emerge stronger. People often transpose this scenario, this story, into their own lives, replacing the heavyweight championship with their own personal challenges.

I still vividly recall being 19, just wrapping up my freshman year at UCLA. It was my first time in California, and my first year of college, a year brimming with challenges and fresh experiences. I knew nobody and felt unprepared. So overwhelming was this feeling that I considered transferring at the end of my freshman year. I applied to Syracuse and the University of Michigan, both of which I'd previously been accepted into, and both accepted me again. 

One night, as I was about to confirm my transfer, I decided to watch one of my favorite movies, "A Few Good Men". Although I've never been in the Navy, nor have I squared off with high-ranking officers like Jack Nicholson's “Colonel Nathan Jessup”, something about Tom Cruise's character struck a chord with me. Despite his confident exterior and successful career, he had never truly tested his mettle in the courtroom. Out of fear of failure, he chose to settle cases instead of fighting them out in court. 

I found myself relating to this character, his fear of the unknown, his fear of failure. It made me realize that my own fears were what made me contemplate leaving UCLA. My dream of striking out westward towards a career in entertainment seemed to be faltering at the first hurdle - moving to Los Angeles. 

Like Tom Cruise's character, I had tried to rationalize my decision to transfer. But after seeing the movie, I realized I was merely succumbing to my fears, potentially shortchanging my dreams before they had even begun. I decided to picture myself as the hero in my own movie, and imagined how the story of my next year at UCLA would go if I chose to return.  This led me to the realize that returning to UCLA would be my personal courtroom, a place where I might face challenges, but also where I would continue to fight for my dreams.

So, I let my acceptance letters from Michigan and Syracuse lapse. I returned to UCLA, graduating after three more years that deeply influenced my life. More importantly, I stayed in Los Angeles, gaining a foothold in the entertainment industry through internships at places like ICM talent agency, and Variety. I also made connections that I still maintain today.

So, what's your life story? 

What's the narrative of your day? 

And if you're not happy with that story, what steps can you take to change the ending into a more positive one?

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Movie Life Lessons: 12 O’Clock High: Leadership

Question: What is the only movie to ever be taught and studied in the Harvard Business School?

Answer: 12 O’Clock High starring Gregory Peck.

The movie was released in 1949 and focuses on an Air Force squadron, the 918th, which is conducting daylight bombing runs during World War 2. The movie is taught at the Harvard Business School as a case study in leadership, and how to effect change in organizations. This film is also studied by the US Navy as an example of leadership styles in its Leadership and Management Training School.

Which is why it is the focus of today’s Movie Life Lessons blog post.

THE 10 MOVIE LIFE LESSONS ON LEADERSHIP FROM 12 O’CLOCK HIGH

1. OFFER SOLUTIONS NOT EXCUSES

“We could have. If it hadn’t been for our stinking luck.”

“We’re talking about luck. I don’t believe in it. I believe a man makes his own luck.”

When the movie begins the current commander of the 918th Squadron is Colonel Keith Davenport. Davenport is beloved by his men and returns the feeling. To the detriment of the whole squadron and the larger mission. Davenport makes excuses for the high number of losses his squadron experiences.

The problem as Frank Savage understands it is Davenport’s loyalty is to his men. He is holding on way too tight. The loss of life on each mission is getting to him.

However, in making excuses for his men, in chalking it up to rotten luck, Davenport fails to require the effort of them as individuals. Instead, he explains to his commanding officers why it wasn’t this airman’s fault for missing the target, or that a pilot’s mistake was because they’re tired or because of where they're from, or whatever the reason.

In the end, they are all excuses Davenport makes for his men. This is his mistake.

And it leads to the next Movie Life Lesson:

2. HAVE HIGH STANDARDS AND MAINTAIN THEM.

“I have to ask you to take nice kids and fly them until they can't take no more. Then put them back in and fly them some more. “We've got to try to find out just what a maximum effort is and how much a man can take and get it all.”

Gregory Peck’s General Frank Savage doesn’t waste time making his new style of leadership felt among the base. When the gate guard doesn’t check his credentials and doesn’t salute him Savage chews the man out. He makes it known from the moment he sets foot on the base that he is in charge, and that he expects the rules to be followed. Something that has been missing for too long. The effects of this change in the style of leadership are immediately felt by the men. Like when he closes the base canteen.

It’s more than just what he says. It’s how he looks. His uniform is crisp. He is buttoned down. He carries himself like a man in charge. Which he is.

3. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR ACTIONS

“You met that responsibility the same way you met his need. You ran out on it.”

Savage, memorably chews out Lieutenant Gately for his failure to support his commanding officer, Colonel Davenport, in achieving the mission and sharing some of his burden. But, even with a soldier like Lieutenant Gatley who he considers to be a coward, Savage doesn’t pass the buck. He doesn’t relieve Gately of command and transfer him to another unit. No. He forces him to take responsibility. He demotes Lt. Gately. He has him change the name of his plane to “The Leper Colony.” He tells him that he is going to get every airmen on base who can’t hit his target, who can’t find the mens room…

Why? What’s the point?

To remind him that no one man is more special than the rest. And that regardless of connections or legacy (Gately’s father and grandfather are both war heroes), each of us is responsible for our actions as individuals no matter what circumstances we might be saddled with or how unfair we think they are. We live in a world that currently thinks that when the standards set become to high for a particular group the answer is to obliterate the standards. Frank Savage proves why that thinking is incorrect. It is the standards we hold ourselves to that make it possible for us each to achieve our missions as individuals.

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How to accomplish that leads to the next Movie Life Lesson:

4. GET BACK TO FUNDAMENTALS (TO OVERCOME FEAR AND DOUBT)

“Tell them to put their requests in through proper channels. Meanwhile, they fly.”

General Savage gets his men back to fundamentals; he gets them flying. No more medical exemptions for his airmen. He keeps sending them up. He reviews the missions even on days when the men aren’t going on a bombing run. When people face failure in life, they find themselves at a fork in the road; they have a choice. They can either choose to persist in the mission. Or they can quit. A smart way to bounce back is to get back to basics.

In Top Gun after Goose’s death when Maverick refuses to engage what does his commanding officer (Tom Skerrit) do? He keeps sending Maverick up. Getting him back in the cockpit.

In Rocky III after Rocky loses to Clubber Lang (because he didn’t train properly) what is Apollo Creed’s solution? He takes Rocky back to the basics. He trains him in the basics. He learns to fight again.

In 12 O’Clock High Frank Savage takes the same tactic. In doing so he stops the men from feeling sorry for themselves (or at the very least he doesn’t give them the time to wallow in their self-pity. He doesn’t let them think they are special. He keeps them busy with the basics. The fundamentals. Then he builds on that. No one person’s hide is worth saving more than another. No one man is more important than the mission.

Which leads to the next Movie Life Lesson.

5. PROMOTE EXCELLENCE

“I better practice saluting you first. It goes with the metal. It was a privilege to add my name to that recommendation.”

Savage’s focus on excellence involves demoting aircrew who make mistakes to The Leper Colony; those who prove themselves get promoted out of it.



5. MAINTAIN YOUR DISTANCE

“You’ve gotta find a way to save yourself a little. You can’t carry all the load. It’s too big.”

“He’s going to bust wide open. And he’s going to do it to himself. Why? Because he is a first-rate guy.”

Over the course of the movie despite his stoicism in dealing with the strain of leading men into combat, General Frank Savage begins to succumb to the same tendencies of his predecessor. Flying with his men he has grown close to them. Too close. He is holding on too tight. When one of the other planes is shot down, Savage calls over the radio for the pilots to bail out. But, it is too late. Afterward, we see he is clearly affected by the loss.

In Saving Private Ryan we see another character who employs this tactic in leadership. Tom Hanks’s Captain serves alongside his men but does not forget that his role as their leader necessitates that he maintain a separation from them. There are certain facts about his life he won’t share. When it comes to complaining as he explains to one of the soldiers under his command, “Gripes go up.”

6. BUILD SUPPORT

Major Stovall: “He'll never feel things about the group the way that made her Davenport dead. And nothing is going to start eating holes through him. He's too tough for it.

Joe:“There’s also such a thing as being human.”

Major Stovall: You know something, Joe, the only difference between Keith Davenport and Frank Savage…is Frank Savage is about that much taller.”

At the start of the film Keith Davenport and Frank Savage seem like entirely different men. Which calls to mind, Lt. Stovall’s remark about Frank Savage and Colonel Davenport.

Major Stovall (Dean Jagger, who won an Oscar for his portrayal) at first does not like Peck’s, General Frank Savage. Initially, Stovall longs for the personal connection of the former commanding officer, Colonel Davenport who has close personal connections with all of his men. By contrast, Stovall views Savage as cold, unsympathetic, and tough.

A hard ass.

Major Stovall comes to understand that Savage and Davenport are both good men who want the same thing: Victory. They both care about their men. That there is no difference between them.

When the pilots threaten to transfer it is Stovall who agrees to stall the pilots’ requests to give the general’s approach time to take effect.

7. INSPIRE OTHERS IN THE MISSION

“But right now the deal is to hang on….We’re in a shooting war,” -Frank Savage

With his pilots on the verge of transferring, Savage calls a trusted young officer, Bishop, into his office to hear his concerns. Bishop explains that he can’t see the point of their attacks. Savage explains why their missions are so important, convincing Bishop to stay. In turn, Bishop convinces the other pilots to stay as well.

Be clear about your mission goals and why they are important to achieve. Following orders is all well and good, but in a larger sense, the team needs to be inspired to complete their objectives. The way to make this happen is to instill a sense of purpose in your people. To inspire them. Doing so makes the sacrifices that will no doubt be necessary along the way seem worthwhile for everyone involved.

Tony Robbins refers to this as the “must.” The idea is that people are properly motivated by things that are most necessary to them in their lives. Therefore, people will do what they “must do” to maintain, protect, and keep, those things in their lives that are most valuable

8. SACRIFICE

“I guess a man only has so much to give and you’ve given it.”

Anything worth doing requires sacrifice. This is at the heart of what the movie is about. The young airmen who are sent on dangerous bombing runs by their commanding officers, who give their lives for the sake of the greater mission.

Which sounds good but is easier said than done. For example, everyone knows they should eat healthily. However, many of us are not willing to make the necessary sacrifices (giving up sweets, foods we love, and eating certain meals at certain times). The reason being we are often not properly motivated or inspired in our missions. We don’t have the right “must.”

For example, if a person is overweight or out of shape they might know they need to work out and eat healthier. But until a doctor tells that person they’re going to have a heart attack (or serious health problems) if they don’t change their ways, they very often don’t. But once they understand why they must do things for the greater good, they will make the necessary sacrifices.

Of course, that begs the question of what should be sacrificed, and how much to sacrifice.

This leads to the next Movie Life Lesson:

9. BUILD LEADERS

“And while you're at it tell ‘em we're going to work now to try and build some leadership around here. And when it comes to counting on me, tell him you're gonna be the next one. And it better be good. And tell Bishop he's gonna lead one and find out what it feels like to carry the load.”

Savage insists that every man must carry the load. Every man must learn to lead. That way the squadron/team is not reliant on one man. They can each rely on themselves and on the men on their team. The lesson is to organize your squadron/team/company in such a way that every man or woman pulls their weight.

In this way, the mission carries on beyond just one man.

In my experience in Hollywood, there are essentially two ways to run a writer’s room/production. The first is the way Matt Weiner ran Mad Men. Every single decision rested with him. Most of the production was forced to wait for Matt to weigh in on whatever decision was being made. One time filming stopped for hours over a decision about whether a character should wear a hat in a scene until Weiner could be reached and render his decision.

Contrarily, on Breaking Bad, Showrunner Vince Gilligan broke stories in the writers room in such a way that any of the writers in the room could write any episode, not only the one they were assigned. If Vince Gilligan were unavailable to handle one aspect of the writing/production, he knew and the organization (AMC) knew that there were others on the team who could step up and lead.

The History of Hollywood Stunts

Stunts have been an integral part of Hollywood movies since the early days of cinema. In the early days, stunts were performed by the actors themselves, but as movies became more complex and dangerous stunts became more common, the need for professional stunt performers grew.

My new book, The Double coming out next month is about a Hollywood stuntman on the backend of his career who is accused of murder. To clear his name he has to catch the people responsible for them. To do this he will have to make use of all his skills. Skills that allow him to gain access to otherwise inaccessible areas, and to escape from close calls. Not to mention the best stuntman are all trained fighters. I wrote the book in part out of my love for the action movies I watched endlessly growing up and the stuntmen who pulled off the daring feats that made those movies so memorable.

Some of the stunts that I remember watching when I was a kid that had my mouth agape was Sylvester Stallone leaping from the cliff in the first “Rambo: First Blood.” I remember watching him make the jump and then falling through a forest of trees. Later, I found out Stallone really made the jump himself. If you watch the movie you can actually see Stallone hit the branch that broke his rib.

Another big stunt at the time was the opening scene to “Goldeneye” which rebooted the 007 franchise with Pierce Brosnan as the British secret agent. The movie opens with a bungee jump from the top of a dam Bond performs to gain access to the bad guys’ compound. Bungee jumping was all the rage of the time. Having bungee jumped once myself I can tell you it’s pretty insane if not exhilarating. The thing to remember is after you fall, the bungee cord goes taut and then pulls you back up. Which means you fall again. Now, Goldeneye used what’s called a descender. Which is wire where the distance can be set which allows for the wire to slow the fall of the stuntman as they reach the full distance.

Wire work is now a staple of stunt work in Hollywood. Marvel has made great use of wire work to make the superheroes more hero. Or allows martial artists the ability to pull off high flying kicks, flips, and fights. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon being one of the first big movies to make use of this technique.

I still remember watching movies like Point Break and Drop Zone about skydiving adrenaline junkies using their high-flying skills to pull off heists. At the time I couldn’t understand why Point Break looked so much better and chalked it up to the skill of the filmmakers behind each movie (both of which are good but I love Point Break). I later learned that the reason the skydiving scenes in Point Break look so much better is because Patrick Swayze actually did them. That’s him jumping out of places and doing aerial flips.

“Amazing. F’ing amazing!”

The thing about Hollywood stunts is it’s not just about the danger level or how elaborate the stunt is. Sure, that’s part of it. But you can go on YouTube and watch “People Are Amazing” videos to see people doing unbelievable things on camera.

But when yelling a story, action can’t be just for action sake. The best stunts are the ones where the action informs the character. As with Crouching Tiger, or Rambo.

Speaking of Stalone, another big stunt I remember was from the movie Cliffhanger. It didn’t involve Stallone, but one of the bad guys. The stunt was in a scene that sees the bad guy pull off a mid-air heist by zip lining from a crashing cargo plane to a private jet. The stunt was performed by famed Hollywood stuntman, Simon Crane, who was paid a million dollars to pull that off.

One of the earliest and most famous stunts in Hollywood history was performed in the 1923 movie "Safety Last!" starring Harold Lloyd. In the film, Lloyd climbs the side of a building and hangs from the hands of a clock high above the street. The scene has become an iconic image of silent film comedy.

Another famous stunt was performed by Buster Keaton in the 1928 movie "Steamboat Bill, Jr." In the film, Keaton stands in the middle of a street as a building facade falls on him. Keaton was positioned in a specific spot so that the window frame fell perfectly around him, leaving him unharmed.

In the 1960s and 1970s, the popularity of action movies led to more elaborate stunts. One of the most famous stuntmen of this era was Hal Needham, who worked on movies such as "Smokey and the Bandit" and "Hooper." Needham was known for his daring car chases and jumps.

Then, there was another Burt Reynolds classic, “Hooper” which is a movie that pays tribute to Hollywood stuntmen in general, in particular to well-known stuntman Jock Mahoney. Mahoney is the stepfather of co-star Sally Field.

In more recent years, the "Mission: Impossible" series has become famous for its elaborate stunts. In the “Mission: Impossible franchise, Tom Cruise has redefined what it means to be a Hollywood leading man by incorporating incredible stunts into each movie.

In MI:Ghost Protocol, Tom Cruise scales the outside of the world’s tallest building Burj Khalifa, ending with an incredible fulcrum swing and jump into an open window.

In MI: Rogue Nation he hangs off a plane.

In MI:Fallout," performed a HALO jump, in which he jumped out of a plane at a high altitude and free-fell before opening his parachute.

Other famous stunts include Evel Knievel's motorcycle jumps and Jackie Chan's acrobatic fight scenes. Stunt performers such as Dar Robinson, who performed the record-breaking 220-foot freefall in the 1980 movie "The Cannonball Run," and Yakima Canutt, who invented many of the techniques still used in stunt work today, have also made significant contributions to the history of stunts in Hollywood movies.

For a list of some of the best stunts ever performed in Hollywood movies check out this list from Cinefix

One of the best YouTube channels for checking out the best and worst fo Hollywood stunts is Corridor Crew.

Top Gun training/stunts

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02/06/23-Monday monday

6:42am - It’s Monday and after my first good weekend of sleep in weeks I feel ready to go…back to bed.

Just kidding.

Started off today making breakfast for the kids and getting them ready to goto school.

7-8:30am: Checked my email, read the news while readying the kids. Then, my wife and I drove the kids to school.

9:40-got home from dropping off the last kid and stopping at a deli to get an egg and cheese with saltpeppaketchup on it.  So good.

10pm-said my morning prayers then got down to work.

Spent the first hour logging footage from footage I shot this weekend and starting to edit a few videos.

I find that I alternate between editing footage on Final Cut Pro on my laptop and editing videos on my iPhone using either iMovie or Premiere Rush. That took a couple of hours at which point it was time to pick up my son again. So I packed up my stuff and got ready to go before realizing my wife was picking him up.

12:15p: So, I checked social media then got lunch ready for my son.  I had to do a quick favor for my wife who had an upcoming meeting.

1p-My wife got back with the kid. She did her meeting and I watched our son for the next two hours while finishing edits on a couple of videos.  Wrote up the SEO and posted it to relevant social media. I am still working on doing more batch creation, not just in video production and editing, but in thumbnails and SEO description and the like.

By 3pm my two daughters and her friend were home and the house soon reached its usual chaotic pitch and my work came to end.

330pm-snack time for the kids (it’s a full time job being a mom and dad).

4pm afternoon prayers and then left to catch a train into the city.   I’m in the train as I write this heading into Manhattan for a work meeting followed by dinner with one of my oldest friends in the world.

I have about twenty minutes and another hour in the city before my meet ups are happening so I am going to write a scene on my new book.

Thank goodness for noise cancelling headphones and a beautiful view out my window on the train.